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Spread the Love Friday- On Fitting In

He makes all things beautiful in His time.    Ecclesiastes 3:11

Happy Friday!  This morning I’m enjoying spending time with my grandson. He’s growing up so fast.

Speaking of growing, our kitten continues to grow.  Last night my husband and I were reading, when Dominic decided he wanted to sit in a box that was too tiny for him.  It reminded me of the many times I’ve tried to fit in, when I really didn’t.  I remember a time when I was about 12 years old, when I wanted to be part of a group of girls.  I had to do what they said to belong.  One day I got my hair cut differently.  They didn’t want to be my friends anymore.  When there was a new kid at school, who they didn’t like, they wanted me to be mean to the girl.  They wanted to choose my boyfriends.  Well, as you can imagine, after a while I grew tired of their shenanigans.  When I married my first husband, I didn’t fit in with his family.  They loved to party.  The booze drinking began early in the morning and lasted throughout the day.  Marital infidelities were common.  I just couldn’t fit it in.

You’ve probably never had problems with fitting in, but you may have noticed others who didn’t fit.  Have you ever wondered why?  Have you ever left someone out because they were different?  Have you ever gone along with the group when they weren’t so nice to someone?  Have you ever seen this group situation happening and didn’t know what to do?  What usually happens is people go along with the group, even when they know the group is wrong.  However, the same group will leave them out when they don’t do what the group likes.  Over time my ex-husband’s drug and alcohol abuse, along with numerous infidelities tore us apart.  The tighter I held on, the more he pulled away.  After two years, we were divorced.  While God wants us to love one another, He doesn’t want us to sacrifice our beliefs and behaviors. Fortunately, His love is strong, even when we make mistakes.

Psalm 93:4 says “mightier than the waves in the sea is his love for you.”  Have you ever thought about the power of the waves in the ocean.  The waves are so strong that they can overturn ships.  They can erode rocks.  The power of waves is used to generate electricity.  Gazing at the ocean is hypnotic.  We even have apps and devices that simulate the sound of waves, because of the relaxation benefits.  So, in terms of might, God’s love for you is enduring and everlasting.

If you don’t feel like you fit in, maybe it’s because you don’t.  Maybe the problem isn’t you at all.  Have you ever considered that maybe you don’t fit in because you don’t want to be controlled?  Maybe you don’t fit it, because you aren’t willing to lower your standards. Maybe the small thinking of the group puts you in a box that’s too tiny.  While we can all be kind and love others, God doesn’t want you to lower your standards or treat others badly.  If you feel like you don’t fit in as a Christian, maybe it’s because you are a leader for God.  Rest securely in God’s love when you don’t fit with what society say says is right.  Next time you don’t fit in, ask yourself two questions.   Why do I feel this way and what can I do to show God’s love to others?

So, what can we do to resolve this issue?  There will always be people who want to control us and make us feel bad, but the good news is they can’t make us do or feel anything.  We are in charge of our actions and emotions.  God is careful to protect our free will.  Not only can we make good decisions about our behaviors and attitudes, but we can be Christian leaders.  Our combined actions will help others to learn how to treat other people.  Imagine what would happen if every time we felt left out, we used the opportunity to spread God’s love.  Wouldn’t that be awesome!

When you go out today, start a new movement.   Be a Christian leader spreading God’s love.  God bless you.


  1. Oh my, I think most of us grew up not feeling like we “fit in.” Good post and you are on to something. I just heard some clips from Sean Parker, the ex-president of Facebook and one of it’s founders. Here’s the excerpt but the problem is now how our youth want to be seen as popular (more followers) and you want to have a lot of “likes” to validate them. Here’s just an excerpt and related now to what you said, imagine all these youth who put out false images of themselves in order to fit in – or the ones who put their true selves on it only to be bullied and made fun of. Parker said they knew all this going in but didn’t really count the cost.

    “It literally changes your relationship with society, with each other. It probably interferes with productivity in weird ways. God only knows what it’s doing to our children’s brains,” he said.

    He explained that when Facebook was being developed the objective was: “How do we consume as much of your time and conscious attention as possible?” It was this mindset that led to the creation of features such as the “like” button that would give users “a little dopamine hit” to encourage them to upload more content.

    “It’s a social-validation feedback loop … exactly the kind of thing that a hacker like myself would come up with, because you’re exploiting a vulnerability in human psychology.”

    Not that it is any more enlightening, here is where that except came from:

    SO WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO WITH THIS INFORMATION? Oh my, the only answer and solution is to tell people about JESUS and how HE is the only one we need validation from – when we repent and HE writes our names down in the Book of Life!

    1. Amen. Thank you. I believe people are spending less time with one another and more time on electronics. We all need emotional connections. Social networking is okay in moderation, but you are right. The answers are with Jesus, and Christian fellowship.

      1. Yes, but we can always modify things by keeping simple pleasures, human contact, and Christian worship and fellowship alive.

  2. Well, I think I have always been one of those who “don’t fit.” And, it isn’t just in the world that I “don’t fit,” but within institutionalized Christianity, i.e. within the walls of organized church. In recent years I have even had more than one pastor suggest that I “go someplace else” where I will be a “better fit,” and they’ll even help me find that place, they say. And, it isn’t because I am a rabble rouser or a trouble maker, but because I quietly and discreetly asked questions of these pastors concerning something they taught. One pastor told me I was to shut up and let him be God’s voice to me. They both, in essence, invited me to leave.

    But, God allowed this in my life for a purpose. He had a ministry for me outside those walls of institutionalized Christianity, but that would minister to the needs of the body of Christ as well as spread the gospel to the people of the world. And, so, here I am blogging what the Lord teaches me each day from his word, and for his glory and praise. Sue

    1. Sue, My heart goes out to you. I’m so sorry that you had this experience. Exclusion is certainly not what Christ taught. He taught “love God,” “love thy neighbor,” and “forgiveness.” I want you to know that everyone is not that way. I’m glad you shared your experience and pray that you will find inclusion in the blogging world.

      1. The pastor who said I should let him be God’s voice to me also told me that he was trained that he should avoid people like me, i.e. “people with strong convictions,” he said. So, I quoted 1 Corinthians 12 to him about no part of the body should say to another “I have no need of you.” But, he didn’t respond. But, God is good! All the time! God has used my experiences to fill me with his passion and love and compassion for the hurting, so that is a very good thing!

      2. This is horrible. Some people have good intentions when they say such things, but it is hard for me to understand in this case. Keep spreading the love and stay blessed.

      3. Oh, and thank you so much for caring. I appreciate that. I have met a lot of wonderful people in the blogging world who have helped to inspire and encourage me. Thanks!

      4. You are welcome. I have met many wonderful people in the blogging world too. I’m glad to call you friend. 😊

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