Tag Archives: bride

Forgiveness Thursday – Keep It Well with Your Soul

Let all that you do be done in love.   1 Corinthians 16:14

Happy Thursday!  Every Thursday I send a message about forgiveness.  This week I put myself to the test.

Monday morning my maternal grandfather died.  When I was a child he sexually abused me.  I kept the family secrets until I was in my mid- to late twenties and my younger sister, a tween at the time, tried to kill herself due to the abuse she experienced.  I came out on her behalf as a corroborating witness and lost everything except my husband and children.  Make no mistake, I gained nothing.

Years went by and it was only about a year ago that I finally realized that I didn’t have to be afraid anymore.  I had completely forgiven both my grandmother, who I loved so much (passed away about 7 years ago) and who covered up the abuse, and my grandfather, the abuser.  Yet, there was a part of me who hoped until the very last minute, that he would tell the family, so there could be healing and reuniting.  He didn’t.

This week I felt I needed some closure, but I was banned by the family from the funeral home and the funeral.  Sitting in my office yesterday, I felt unsettled.  Then, out of the nowhere my friend brought in a group of teens from a local youth ministry and they prayed for me.  How sweet was that!

Almost instantly my prayer was answered.  I stood before God and talked to my grandfather.  It was then that I could see him as a victim.  Many abusers have also been abused.  Tears ran down my cheeks as I told him I was sorry for whatever happened to cause him to have that problem.  I went on to tell him that I hated he couldn’t make it right with the family, but it was okay. Then, I prayed for God to accept him and my grandmother in heaven, if he hadn’t already.  Finally, I said my farewells for now and promised to see them in heaven one day where I know everything will be so much better. I will be able to hug them.  Immediately, I felt like a huge weight had been lifted from my chest.  I felt so much relief that I am happy again.  I can truly say . . . it is well with my soul.

I don’t share this story to brag or boast, because I’ve always been ashamed of what happened.  Also, know that it took many, many years for me to get to the place where I am now.  However, I know that I’m not alone.  Many of you have similar situations.  Rest assured there are miracles every day,  I witnessed some yesterday.  I know God can make everything okay, but even if he doesn’t do what you think you need, keep things well with your soul.  God bless you!

 

One Lovely Blog Award

 

I am excited and happy to announce that Crystal Stewart of Crystal’s Site  nominated me for the One Lovely Blog Award.  Crystal is a fantastic photographer, who loves animals and country living.  If you haven’t visited her blog, I encourage you to visit soon.  There is such a variety of information that you are bound to find plenty of interests.  I love it!  Thank you again for nominating me Crystal.

I have so many people I would like to nominate but here are my nominations and remember you are under no obligation to accept by me nominating you. This is just a token of my appreciation of your hard work.

I would like to nominate the following blogs:

Buckets on a Barefoot Beach

Out Crawls Ann

The Journey of My Left Foot

Captive Dreams Window

Twilightpaint

Unexpected in Common Hours

Voyages of Mine

Decluttering My Life

Stellascreativities

Megala’s Kitchen

Healing through Words

Living for Experiences

Tashnee.v.mavee

Angela Murdock

Circadianreflections

The Rules:
• Thank the person that nominated you and provide a link to their blog.
• List the rules.
• Display the award on your post of the award.
• List seven facts about yourself.
• Nominate 15 bloggers for this award and comment on one of their posts to let them know you have nominated them.

7 Facts About Myself
• I was born on the 4th of July.
• I have a Great Dane and a Shih Tzu.  This week a Maine Coon kitten is coming to live with me.
• I love to quilt.
• I have traveled in 19 states.
• I find reading and learning fun.
• I studied Spanish, Chinese and Egyptian Hieroglyphics in College.
• My friend Jeanne says I have a big personality and a bigger heart.

Use Your Gifts to Change the World Wednesday – Live Like Your Loved!

Faith does not make things easy.  It makes them possible.   Luke 1:37

Happy Wednesday!  We’ve made it half way through the work week despite challenges.  It’s time to use our gifts to make the world a better place.

Sometimes when we have challenges it’s easy to fall into a rut of doubt.  Have you ever wondered if your best is enough?  Well, I have great news!  No matter what anyone else thinks, God loves you.  He loves you even when you feel like your best falls short.  He’s by your side on days when you make mistakes, and when you are too emotionally or physically tired to give your best. He knows your heart.  When others judge or misjudge you, God knows your intentions.  When people let you down, he’s there.  When you feel like there’s an empty hole inside, he’s there ready to fill the hole.  He’s your cheerleader, and your father who wants to see you succeed.  He loves your best and your second best.   Isn’t that great!

So as you go out to pay it forward and help others, remember God loves you and you are never alone.  You are loved!  Praise God! God bless you.

Try Something New Tuesday – Embrace Those Who Suffer

He heals wounds of every shattered heart.  Proverbs 147:3

Happy Tuesday.  Today, I would like to ask you to join me in trying something new . . . stomp out childhood sexual abuse!

Imagine you are a child and a trusted family member does unspeakable acts to you that you do not understand.  One of the people you love most in the world is not only aware, but jealous.  You hide and lock the door, and he apologizes and promises to never do it again, but over and over he returns pushing the envelope further.  You tell your mother, who scolds you and you keep the secret.

Imagine yourself a young adult with small children still afraid to be left alone with the perpetrator.  A child in your family tries to kill herself from depression.  She later tells similar stories about the same family member.

Imagine you are going through life and through no fault of your own, your world is turned upside down and inside out.  All the people you know and love suddenly love you no longer. You are alone.  Doing what’s right to protect a child who has experienced a pain like your own means losing everything.  You have nothing to gain.  You are looked upon as dirty and substandard.

Imagine wanting to die from the pain of being isolated, unloved and invalidated.  Each day the torment of memories is eating away at your existence.  You can barely leave the house for fear of being known, ridiculed or accidentally seeing the people who hurt you.

Imagine the church that you attend supporting the people who hurt you without ever speaking with you, even though you were a victim and also a member.  You know secrets unveiled from within the church walls and when you try to speak with the minister who had a hand in getting the one who hurt you most out of jail, he threatened to call the police.

Imagine the child you helped recanting everything as an adult, leaving you looking like a liar.  You never again have any substantial relationship with anyone outside your husband and children.

Imagine working your way through college and fighting your way into a career later in the life.  You fight to protect your children from people and situations that might be harmful, so they do not know the same pain.

Imagine yourself working through the pain and forgiving the ones who hurt you.   You trust God and make a new life for your family and you are finally finding peace.  No one can hurt you or your children now.  Many years have passed.  The family is forever broken and there is no hope of reconciliation.  You now realize that we are all God’s children and wish no one any harm.

Imagine yourself seventeen years later.  The family member you loved so much has died.  She never made things right with you.  The same church places a plaque up in her honor, even though she hid family secrets about your pain.  You seek out family history and convince yourself that she made stupid mistakes as a young adult and lived in a different time.  You tell yourself she made decisions because women married to ensure they had providers for their children.  You are able to reestablish a relationship with one relative who is also outcast by the family.

Imagine yourself twenty-four years after the arrest.  The perpetrator has died.  The family is fighting and excluding others as their greed takes control of their minds and hearts.

Imagine praying for the family and repose of the soul of the perpetrator.  Imagine feeling numb at first and then sadness because your dreams that one day your family would be reunited and know you told the truth will never happen.

Someone I care about was a victim of childhood sexual abuse and experienced these events and feelings.  If you know someone like this, whether a child or adult, don’t look at them as dirty.  Give them love and help them. It’s never a child’s fault.  Childhood sexual abuse is real and destroys lives and families.  Often these crimes are committed by people close to the family, if not the family.  Children do not want their family members to be mad at them and more often than not, remain silent.  Perpetrators need help too.  Protecting the perpetrators only hurts more people.  Churches are made up of people like you and me.   We need to unite to help.

Join me today in stopping sexual abuse of children.  If you have been abused, I lift you up in prayer.  Leave me your name and I will pray for you.  Join me in turning everything over to the one who mends shattered hearts.  God bless you.

Tell Me Something Good Monday – Turn Your Troubles Over to God

He has been with me everywhere I have gone.  Genesis 35:3

Happy Monday!  I will share that we are recovering from our sickness and we successfully kitty-proofed two rooms yesterday.  Plus my wonderful husband put our kitten’s cat tree together.  It’s taller than me!  Isn’t that great!  We have much more to do this week, but I feel we made great progress.  I hope you will share something good from your life.

Sometimes the beginning of the work week can be overwhelming.  The phone is ringing.  People are coming in for assistance.  Other departments are calling with requests.  People are asking questions that have never been answered before.  One or more of your coworkers didn’t show up, which increases your work load.  All the while you have your list of things that you must accomplish before you go home.  That’s just your job.  Your mind is also thinking of taking the children to music, band, dance, and ball practice after work. Then, you must hurry home to cook dinner, manage baths and homework , exercise and clean house.  Your heart is racing and your body feels the stress.

Have no fear.  This happens to everyone.  First Peter 5:7 tells us to “cast all our desires on him because he cares for us.”  In other words, take a step back.  Take a deep breath and thank God for being there for you.  He is always there.  Life is so much better with God by our side.  Trust God to help you and leave your worries behind.

Join me today in turning over all stress and worries to our sweet Lord.  God bless you.

Praise the Lord Sunday – Be a Firmly Planted Tree

BLESSED [fortunate, prosperous and favored by God] is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked [following their advice and example], nor stand in the path of sinners, nor sit [down to rest] in the seat of scoffers (ridiculers),

but his delight is in the law of the LORD, and his law [his precepts and teachings] he [habitually] meditates day and night.  

And he will be like a tree firmly planted [and fed] by streams of water, which yields its fruit in its season; its leaf does not wither; and in whatever he does he prospers [and comes to maturity].  

The wicked [those who live in the disobedience to God’s law] are not so, but they are like the chaff [worthless and without substance] which the wind blows away.  Therefore the wicked will not stand [unpunished] in the judgement, Nor sinners in the assembly of the righteous, For the LORD knows and fully approves of the way of the righteous, but the way of the wicked shall perish.   Psalm 1  (The Amplified Bible)

Praise the Lord it’s Sunday!  I haven’t posted because the illness I unintentionally gave my husband came back to me.  The bad news is I hardly remember yesterday.  The good news is it didn’t last as long this time.  So, today we are taking it easy trying to get well.

I have some more good news.  Next Sunday after church we are going to pick up baby Dominic.  We are kitten-proofing the house and putting kitty toys together today.  I’m really excited.  I’ve been watching Maine Coon videos.  These cats are so sweet and funny. Be sure and look at the slide show below.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

I have some more good news that I had intended to share Friday.  I spoke to my school advisor.  I’m not sure whether I explained this before or not, but I have an MBA and an MPA, but when I decided to pursue my PhD in Theology I had to start over because it is a different type of degree.  It’s okay though.  I love it! I started classes in November 2016.  I only have six more classes plus my practicum and I will have my Bachelors degree in Theology.  Then, I only have six more classes plus more practicum and I will have finished my Masters Degree.  Then, I can begin working on my PhD.  It sounds like a great deal of work, but this is encouraging news to me.  On top of that, I volunteered to work at a hospice youth camp, but now it looks like I will have an opportunity to shadow the hospice minister for practicum hours.  So, I’m really excited about that opportunity.  Please keep me in your prayers that I may be a comfort to others.

The Bible verses today are from Psalms 1.  One of my adopted sons, Stephen, gave me Joyce Meyer’s Battlefield of the Mind, Psalms and Proverbs for my birthday (Hachette Book Group, 2017).  I love it.  It’s the perfect size for me to carry in my purse everywhere I go.  So, I have been reading Psalms very slowly and meditating on its meaning.

One thing Joyce says in the book is that we should meditate on God’s word and concentrate on trying to be more like what is described.  It’s so easy to get caught up in what’s going on around us, and to allow words and actions that hurt us to make us bitter.  This is a constant struggle for me.  I try to be the best me possible, and just don’t understand the actions of others sometimes.  The truth is we never have to let what others do or say sway us.  We can choose to be like a tree firmly planted and fed by the word of God. Verse four says the wicked are like the chaff, which the wind blows away.  We don’t want to be like the husks on the ear of corn, or the exterior covering on grain.  The chaff has no substance.  When we are firmly planted in God’s word we will prosper.

Join me today in planting yourself firmly like a tree in the word of God.  God bless you.

Forgiveness Thursday – Time Management

May he give you the desire in your heart to make all your plans succeed.  Psalm 20:4

Happy Thursday!  It’s a great time to forgive yourself and others.  My poor husband was sick all night with the same symptoms I had a few weeks ago that landed me in the hospital.  So, this morning I’m asking for forgiveness for making him ill and forgiving myself, because I feel horrible about it.

Have you ever felt like there is just not enough time in the day or week to do everything that you would like or need to accomplish?  Do you run around in circles trying to finish projects?  Do you find there is never enough time to study your Bible?  Well, I have good news.  There is enough time if you manage your time appropriately putting God first, family second, career third, and personal time last.

There are many time management techniques, but I find this works the best. In each of the four areas of your life (God, family, work, personal), list out 3-5 of the most important things you need to do to accomplish your goals.  Start with God and go in order.  List these items in your planner as an appointment. I use both a digital and paper planner.  The reason I use both is I have encountered computer glitches from time to time, and the paper planner is a backup plan.  It also provides a quick guide on my desk at work and a written record to look back on over time.  The digital calendar sends reminders to my phone and watch so that I don’t forget or miss an appointment.  You can use either or both.

Now you have appointments set.  Don’t cancel or postpone your appointments.  You wouldn’t cancel an appointment with an important client or your boss would you?  Every week add the items from the four areas of your life in order starting with God to your calendar at the end of the week.  Then, as new appointments come in, you set the new appointments around your schedule.  When it seems like there isn’t enough time, take a deep breath and trust God. That’s all there is to it.  You will be amazed at how much you can get done and your life will be blessed and more fulfilling.

Start planning your life today.  God bless you.

Use Your Gifts to Change the World Wednesday – How to Break Free from Negative Thinking

In everything give thanks.  1 Thessalonians 5:18

Happy Thursday, I mean Wednesday.  Has this ever happened you?  I have been off from work since last Thursday and I’ve mixed up my days.  This is my last day of vacation.  Wow!  It’s amazing how fast the time has passed, but maybe it’s time for me to get back into my routine.  It’s not Forgiveness Thursday yet, but it’s still a great time to forgive others and yourself.

This morning my daughter sent me an amazing video about being stuck in the negative.  Alison Ledgerwood from the Psychology Department at U. C. Davis provided a brief discussion on her research about how people respond to positive and negative situations (https://youtu.be/7XFLTDQ4JMk).  I encourage you to take a look at her presentation.  Ms. Ledgerwood pointed out that when something good happens, people in general tend to be happy for a brief time.  However, when something negative happens, our mood shifts down and doesn’t come back as quickly.  Even when something good happens after the negative, we just don’t snap back right away.  It is in our nature to behave this way.  Ms. Ledgerwood goes on to explain ways we can retrain our brains to think positive.

So, I’m watching this amazing talk with my husband and he says “that’s nice but that’s not new information.”  I replied “what do you mean?” He simply stated “the Bible tells us to forgive and be thankful.”

He’s right.  The Bible provides a two-part process for retraining our brains.  First, we are supposed to forgive.  Luke 6:37 states “[f]orgive and you will be forgiven.”  According to Ephesians 4:31-32 we should “[g]et rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior . . . [and instead] . . . be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven” us.  Colossians 3:13 instructs us that we should “forgive as the Lord” has forgiven us.

Then, the second step is to be thankful.  First Thessalonians 5:13-18 teaches us to “in everything give thanks . . . with a grateful heart.”  Psalms 13:6 instructs us to “give thanks to the Lord, for he is good . . . [and] . . . his steadfast love endures forever.”  It is true that when we have a forgiving heart and focus on our blessings, we are retraining our brains to move out of the negative.

Throughout this brain retraining process we can also ask God for help at anytime.  In fact, I ask for help every time, because  I know that “every good and perfect gift comes from above” (James 1:17).

I encourage you today and every day to retrain your brain Gods way. God bless you.

Try Something New Tuesday – My Birthday Blog

Let Your Light Shine.  Matthew 5:16

Happy Tuesday!  Happy Fourth of July! Happy Birthday America!  It’s Try Something New Tuesday.  So, I’m posting my very first birthday blog.  Today, I turn 51 and I have so much more than 51 things for which to celebrate and be thankful.

Let me start by updating you on some recent happenings.  First, I had the most wonderful day with my grandson.  We watched Mickey Mouse, danced, read, colored, played with puzzles, played with tractors, rode tricycles, chased bubbles, napped and cuddled.  At the end of the day when my daughter came to pick him up, I was able to spend some time with her.  Before Anna left, she asked Landon “are you ready to go home?”  He said “no, I’ll just stay here with Bebaws.”  My heart melted.  Grandchildren are the best!

Second, I placed a deposit on a Maine Coon kitten at CoonPals.  Michele has been such a blessing to me.  I have even sent the name I chose to Michele for the papers.  My new kitten will be called Dominic, which means belonging to God.  I only have a couple of photos.  After I pick up Dominic in a couple of weeks, I will share more.  Needless to say, I am excited to welcome our new family member.

Today is not only my birthday, but America’s birthday. America was founded to establish religious freedom as one nation under God.  Freedom to worship God meant the government would not tell you which church to attend, when to attend, how to worship or how much to pay in tithes.  The documents prepared by the founding fathers refer to God in numerous places.  Our money says “In God We Trust.”  Our Pledge of Allegiance says “One Nation under God”.  Our patriotic songs talk about God.  We even swear our government officials in on the Bible.  However, over the past several years there has been a movement to take God out of the United States of America.  Americans are afraid to stand up for the principles this country was founded on.  We are afraid to offend someone, so we give up our rights to keep from offending others.  My fellow Americans have you ever considered that this country’s greatness was because of the very one you cannot find the gumption to stand up for, God?  As the saying goes, if can’t stand up for what’s right, you will fall for anything!

George Washington, the first President of the United States of America once said “[i]t is impossible to rightly govern a nation without God and the Bible.”  Abraham Lincoln, the sixteenth president of the United States of America during the American Civil War pointedly stated, “[I] know that the Lord is always on the side of the right, but it is my constant anxiety and prayer that I and this nation should be on the Lord’s side.”  God has always been a driving force that held America together.  Ronald Reagan, the fortieth President of the United States declared “[L]et the Fourth of July always be a reminder that here in this land, for the first time, it was decided that man was born with certain God-given rights; that government is only a convenience created and managed by the people, with no power on its own except those voluntarily granted to it by the people.”  In other words, Americans can change this trend whenever we are ready.

So, this Fourth of July I encourage my American brothers and sisters to join me and try something new – Stand up for God.  For without him we will certainly fall.  God bless you and God Bless the USA!

 

 

Tell Me Something Good Monday – Fun with the Grands!

The joy of the Lord is my strength.   Nehemiah 8:10

Happy Monday!  I have some great news to share.  Our grandson is spending the day with us.  Our daughter just started a new job in nursing and she needed a sitter.  You know she didn’t have to look far.  If I had it my way, he’d stay with me every day.  So, today will be fun with a three year-old day.  I’m a little late posting because Landon pointed to my tablet and said “stop this Bebaws!”  He’s asleep now, so I’m only posting a few lines.

As I watch Landon playing, I’m reminded of Timothy’s grandmother, Lois (2 Timothy 1:5 and 3:14-15).  Lois was a woman of great faith.  Grandparents can plant seeds of their faith in the hearts of their grandchildren, in much the same way Lois did.  She lived her faith imperfectly, and Timothy learned from her example.  There are little things we can do while making time at grandma’s (or in my case, Bebaw’s) house fun.  We started the day with a pear, while we talked about the delicious fruit in God’s garden of Eden.  Young children love to help with yard work.  It’s a great time to learn about nature.  I think we are going to blow bubbles outside today.  If it rains today, we have a porch (walls are glass) that will allow him to see the weather, while not being in it.  However, I have played with him and his mom in the rain, when it was just a light shower.  Landon loves coloring and working on puzzles with me.  He really enjoys the one-on-one attention.  We usually dance and sing. He loves stories, and I know that I still remember the stories my grandmothers told me when I was a child. What a joy grandchildren are!

As for the kitten, things did not go as planned.  So, I’m contacting a Cattery that’s a little closer to where I live.

I hope you have a wonderful Monday.  God bless you!